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Posts Tagged ‘memories’

I’m not even for sure how to pick back up with my blog, it’s been so long. I never meant to take such a hiatus in writing, but I suppose all writers have their moments when nothing comes. Of course, mine started out due to a lack of time and has slowly progressed into not having anything meaningful to say. At least it feels that way.

Yesterday was my birthday. It dawned on me that I am 32 now. Not, that I had forgotten. I simply had this weird moment where it feels as if being a child myself was ages ago. I can’t fathom that I have been on this earth that long. Yet, I know that’s only a glimmer to a true lifetime. And then I think to myself-  was it really ages ago? I catch myself sometimes, when I watch Baby G mastering a task or encountering something for the first time, remembering my own reactions or thoughts as a child. I’m not for sure exactly how to explain it. I guess that’s why there’s that saying that some parents chose to live through their children again. Anyway, it’s in these moments that I realize that time is really relative in the scheme of things, but us humans just have to go and find a way to measure it and drive ourselves crazy worrying about whether we have enough of it or we’ve used time efficently enough. Ba-hum-bug. I am simply not a fan of time.

We’ve had a whole mess of things happen in the last few months…Baby G landed the nasty fever blister virus through an encounter with the bug. Neither Bryan or I get them- so it’s disappointing that his little system can’t fight it off.  Which is rather crazy, considering somewhere around 80% of the population carries the virus, but only a select few are unlucky enough to fall prey to its wrath. Poor sweet guy. Unfortunately, this bug did a number on him- as it ended up around his eye (no thanks to the stand in doctor) and it was the worst I have ever seen our little man. We have to travel to Charleston next Friday to make sure it hasn’t gotten into his eye, which we are pretty confident it hasn’t- but one cannot be safe enough. His regular pediatrician has been a life saver and helped get him better within a week.

Because of this, he hasn’t had his checkup yet and this Friday he gets his 9/10 month shots and all his growth stats. Our little man is growing like a weed, minus his cold and losing some weight; it will be nice to see where he’s at.

He has also progressed to a whole plethora of new foods and has started refusing baby food or anything that doesn’t allow him a chance to ‘chew’.

On an even bigger note, we are now on month ten of breastfeeding!! I am so positively happy that we have made it this far- but I am not looking forward to weaning him on so many different levels.

He’s also ‘vrooming’ his toy truck around that his Mom-mom gave him and loves to sit in his playroom by himself looking at books. We are pretty sure he might stand by himself pretty soon, too.

So in retrospect, where has the time gone? All I hope is that I’m capturing enough of his babyhood before he becomes that toddler he’s growing so fast into. Don’t get me wrong, I love this adventurous and brave little boy he is becoming, but know at the same time how very much I am going to miss my baby.

It’s funny, I feel as if I am playing tug of war with myself all the time…trying to get just the ‘right’ amount of time (there’s that dreaded idea again) with my little man and then trying the find just the right balance for the rest of my life somewhere precarelessly in there, too. Yet, funny thing is- I keep thinking if I’m not careful…none of it will matter and it will be gone before I can even blink an eye. So, I try to say a prayer every night that I will cherish every.single.little.moment no matter how small or exhausting they sometimes can be.

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I thought I would share how much monkeying around Baby G has been into lately. If this first picture doesn’t clue you in for what’s to come, I don’t know what will. All I know, there’s definitely a trend taking place…

 

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*Disclaimer* These pictures are not staged (see stains, bruise, and wet pee mark for proof).

I found this nifty idea over at The Natural Mommy, a new blog I just started checking out- she’s witty and sincere and natural. So go ahead and check out her blog. She also used this widget from Mr. Linky, too. Pretty darn cool. This means, if you are reading and have any photos/memories for the week that you are dying to share, here’s your chance. Link your post (individual, not homepage) in Mr. Linky…then I and anyone else can come see what memories you are sharing this week! Yes, it’s another meme…they’re addictive it seems.

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Tonight, for the first time in ages I looked back to a few old photos while cleaning the computer of all our thousands of pictures. It was amazing sitting there by myself and seeing just how much Garrett had grown and how far he has come over the months. Heck, I would like to say that I think Bryan and I are doing an okay job at this parenting thing. Although, that wouldn’t be truthful given the twenty times a day that I wonder relentlessly to myself on how in the world this child is doing fine with me as his mother- who has been known to leave a heating pot of soup on the stove for over a half an hour before *oops* realizing it was there (I can’t smell ANYTHING dang-it!) or that half the time I’m really only guessing whether it’s his teeth bothering him or he’s sick and we should call the doctor.

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Aside from all that, as I started looking through a few more photos that are scattered on the laptop computer, I became a bit sad that I was no longer pregnant. Yep, it hit me like a TON of bricks! I never thought I would be one of those women, but alas I am. I miss feeling my belly all round and all the other areas go pudgy. I miss feeling a tiny flutter and then those first few rolls and then the kicks. The jabs, the inability to sit comfortably, the backache and even the big fat cankles at the end. Why…you ask?

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Maybe it has to do with knowing Baby G is growing and slowly spreading his tiny wings so he may enter the world and fly away from me. Maybe, it’s the delicateness of having another beating heart inside yourself that makes you feel incomplete without it, that is unless baby lays against your chest and you feel him breath as if it were those first few breathes. Perhaps, it’s the unknown and surreal beauty in wondering those nine long months and every.single.day.since. what he will be like or become. Whatever, it is- I know this; it all passes by too quickly. There are not enoughdays in a year or hours in a day to fully encompass and appreciate the life that forms within you or to fully understand and acknowledge the individual that is developing, being molded by your own actions and the environment that stands around him. And then, it takes your breath away as you realize how important you are to this one person and how important this one person is to you. And, suddenly nothing else matters but family. LOVE takes on an entirely different meaning.

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That’s when I glanced back to pictures taken 2-3 weeks before ‘we’ got pregnant. We stripped the wallpaper from the upstairs guest room and painted it blue. Boat Blue to be exact. Three weeks later, I was meeting a friend for a drink and I was famished. No big deal. The next day, it happened again as I had my hair trial for the wedding. Oh, I was simply running in circles with the wedding. No sweat, I would grab a bite later. And then, I was painting baby name blocks and getting ready to head to Marion for a baby shower. When, I had a feeling. It was my boss at the time that announced it to me “Mark my words, you’re pregnant!” My boss was a guy, so I knew I needed to take the test. Three tests later, we were positive.  And from looking at the photos, I do believe I had angel’s dust sprinkled all over me.

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I believe that Boat Blue room and Baby G was our destiny. Our Manifest Destiny to be exact.

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Since we didn’t get to go out to our anniversary dinner Monday or get to take a trip to the winery we planned to visit, I wanted to revisit our wedding by posting some pictures. It’s amazing that it’s been a year since we were married. It seems like it was just yesterday. It’s also hard to believe that I was pregnant with Garrett at the time. Or that it took Bryan and I, thirteen years to get to our wedding day. But, looking back I wouldn’t change a single little detail along the way.

I have tried to condense the number of pictures to share, there are so many I love…these are a few of my favorites. There are so many more I would LOVE to share…I’m not going to bore you guys, though!

The birds were even chirping!

The birds were even chirping!

First time seeing my Daddy.

First time seeing my Daddy.

Almost to 'I Do'

Almost to "I DO"

Swept Away...

Swept Away...

Our 1st Dance- "Into the Mystic"

Our 1st Dance- "Into the Mystic"

Our wonderful wedding party.

Our wonderful wedding party.

Our photographer rocked.

Our photographer rocked.

So pretty.

Probably one of my absolute favorites.

I miss my HAIR!!

My handsome husband.

My handsome husband.

Thanks for looking. 🙂

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Garrett isn’t crawling yet, but he sure is putting it all together. He is mobile without crawling- he knows every possible way in which to get from point A to point B within a five feet radius. He has also started leaning on his side and lifting his leg as if exercising. In fact, I am betting this is his way of figuring out how to get in a crawling position.

I realized this weekend, I was too consumed with all the hurricane business to realize my little man had turned 5 months old! He actually turned it the day Hanna made her rather graceful appearance. (Hanna is too nice a name for a Hurricane in my opinion.) In what seems a very short time, he has become quiet the conversationalist and actor. He knowns exactly what sounds warrant him a crowd, as well as which ones bring him kisses and laughs and even no’s. He has perfected letting us know by sound what is bothering him as well. I thought we were going to be on our own on this one, guessing what he wanted! He now has a distinctive sound for a poopy diaper, teeth hurting and tiredness. He is also laughing up a storm! I have started raising his arms and holding them above his head – he responds happily with smiles and giggles. It is so amazing.

I don’t think I want this stage to end. He is becoming so very aware of his world and everything around it. Tonight, while I was typing he awoke and lay silently beside me. I didn’t turn toward him, rather I was trying to complete my passage before logging off and attending to his needs. That’s when I noticed a small finger gingerly tapping my back, as if to say “Hi Mommy, I’m awake.” I can’t even tell you the elation I felt, the pure joy that my little man is figuring so many things out.

He has been falling asleep and waking up and turning onto his stomach, too- ever since he figure out how to flip completely over.  He has moved on to peas with milk, we have put away oatmeal cereal for now, moved back to rice cereal and are continuing the avocados. Oh, and here’s a few random pictures- one of which is of Garrett briefly sitting and observing his rings.

So there’s an update on my little guy, growing up before my very eyes and not wasting one single minute. I truly believe that motherhood/parenthood is the best experience you can receive in this life.

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On Sunday, we had 7 children under the age of 4 hanging out at the picnic. Along with around 15 adults, that makes for a very loud get-together, especially when it starts to rain. None of that seemed to bother Garrett, he took all the noise in and still managed to catch a 45 minute nap. As the crowd was winding down, I noticed how fascinated Garrett is becoming with other children and babies. He keeps a close eye on them and even mimics their actions to an extent. I caught a few pictures of him intrigued by his future ‘friends of the family’ buddies: In the picture above, he is with Ben, our friend Jon’s 3 year old son. It looks like Ben is showing him his toy! Watch out Ben! Garrett might just grab it!

These three pictures, are of Garrett and Allison’s son, Eli (who’s 4 months older).

“Man, how cool are these things called hands?”

It appears that they are catching up on old times, huh?
I absolutely adore how Garrett is looking at Eli throughout these pictures. It’s as if he’s saying, “This is a baby like me! WOW!”

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Home has dual meaning to both Bryan and I. We have always referred to Marion and Surfside as our home. There are so many positives and negatives to both places that I think we have become torn on which really is home for us. But, as we made our trip ‘home’ this time, we found a different meaning to what and where home really is.

As soon as we were on the road, we both felt it…a peaceful realization that is, that brought with it the sense that we were a ‘true’ family now and therefore, wherever we went, there was our ‘home’. And it was more than apparent, as I looked around at our traveling arrangements. It was comical in many ways. In the front, Bryan drove and Floyd (our 13 year old Beagle-Hound mix) rode shotgun with the armrest as his pillow. In the backseat, Garrett and I were comfortably seated and holding up the rear, was Saelac (our 8 year old Rottie) enjoying the most space he’s ever had on a trip home! (If you could see his, you would understand why I write that…he’s 160 lbs of LOVE.) Not only did we have the boys with us. we also had a small u-haul trailer that we towed behind carrying our suitcases and a table for Bryan’s parents that we could no longer accommodate in the house. We were definitely a sight, but we were family and this was HOME for the next 7 hours.

In those hours I remember thinking, these are the best days of our lives. I had always thought that it was my teen years that were the best or maybe the year I turned 21, but as we traveled I realized we were making memories as a family. Memories, that would last for a lifetime and memories that would be told around the dinner table as Garrett grew older.

And yet, it never fails that whenever we hit the NC mountains, our hearts leap for joy to be entering the Blue Ridge country because we knew we were than much closer to being ‘home’. Memories of running through the hills when we were little come to mind. The landscape always takes us away, and brings us back to a simpler time. A carefree time, picking apples and blackberries. I fondly remember getting potatoes from the creek cellar or climbing trees in the twilight of evening. I think back to watching thunderstorms on the porch, as my paw-paw told stories and I snuggled up next to him. I remembered helping in the garden and then riding bikes on dirt roads and up into the mountains of Bear Creek. One of my most vivid winter memories, involved building a snowman in front of the Atkins Elementary School. It was a great place to grow up as a child.

We miss that beauty, simplicity, and family that Marion holds. Now more than ever, family means more than anything to us. We long to be near our relatives and wish for Garrett to be able to be close to his grandparents. We have contemplated moving closer many times and the feeling that we should gets stronger with each visit back…

Yet, we struggle with giving up the ‘home’ we have now and think about all the wonderful things that living here offers. A beautiful house with a big backyard that is only a short mile or so to the beach. The balmy nights and the sweet smell of Jasmine in the air and frogs singing outside the back deck. But, best of all, it has the three of us and a growing assortment of new memories that we will create as a family because this is where our hearts reside at the moment.

And perhaps, when Garrett grows older, he will look back on his memories of ‘home’ and they will be just as great as the ones we have of Marion.

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