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Archive for October, 2008

I woke up last night to a God awful dream. Bryan had come to me, like Steve did to Miranda and politely admitted to having an affair. But, not just any affair. The Affair. An affair with his X. You know the one.

First off Bryan would never have an affair. And to be fair, I’m big on reversing the senario- it always puts things into perspective. For example, I know I have no worries with an X because they are X’s for a reason. That usually works. 

{Edited to include:} In all honesty, I think everyone at one time or another thinks of their X. But, that’s it, its more of a fleeting thought and something you know is better left in the past. Because, ultimately you are two different people now.

The whole time Bryan and I have been together, I have never been paranoid. Well, minus the time I was five months pregnant with Garrett.

Oh, yeah that time. (Insert story of someone (I shant mention names) who works with Bryan- telling 5 month old pregnant woman that her husband thinks (said person) is a MILF.) First off, I find the very term ‘MILF’ unappealing, sexist, and crude. Call me a puritian if you will. But, it floats around way too freely these days. Not the point. This was something that infuriated me and changed my whole demeanor concerning our relationship. I went from easy going to crazy psychoatic lady within days. ‘Everything’s okay, Brook….you can calm back down that was almost a year ago.’ Even now, thinking of this scenario sends my blood boiling and causes me to find tons of insecurities in myself.

See thing is, Bryan’s job takes him away from me for very, very, long periods. We also work in seperate time zones. I am out the door by 9 a.m., he watches Baby G and then I am home by 2-3 p.m. and he leaves for work, only to arrive around 11 or so. We are akin to passing ships in the night and my day is much the way Becky describes her present life. 

We rarely get to hang out anymore. I mean, who has the time and wouldn’t blogging be more interesting. Kidding.

All this makes for a good soap opera, if you let it.

Seriously, Wednesdays are special nights. Bryan has inventory and if he doesn’t get home by midnight- I admit my radar starts going off and I think the unthinkable, even though I know without a doubt that he would never do anything. Thing is, that self-proclaimed MILF might do something. Not Bryan.

Last night, I simply called to say I was worried and went on to bed. Bryan arrived close to twenty minutes later and soon followed to bed. I woke up at 2 a.m. shouting- NO! NO! NO! By the time I had realized it was a dream, I was considering continuing my yelling simply because I felt the need for consoling. True story. I guess my reasons for posting this isn’t for sympathy, but rather to point out my reation wasn’t sadness as I had thought (as in when I witnessed Steve confess this same crime to Miranda)…it was shame and pure madness that he had respected me so little.

And, that got me to thinking…is infidelity actually about the sexual or rather that need for connection that gets lost in relationships over the years through marriage, family  and kids, bills and debt, goals and dreams? Or are we all a bunch of savages?

How do you cope with keeping the insecurities tucked ‘far, far, away’?

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I love being tagged. I was tagged by Bri over at Such is My Life to come up with the 6th photo in my 6th online album. This seems like a fun concept, even though I know whatever picture that 6th one winds up to be, it will most likely not be the ‘ONE’ I would want it to be. That’s just my luck. I mean seriously, I browsed through some other folks that were tagged and their photos are pretty darn amazing. Bri’s picture was freaking taken by her daughter and it is beautiful. So, hmmmm….can I even compete in amazing land?

Well, since its been hectic around here I have yet to do this tag which was given to me about a week ago. Yep, I am officially a slacker. It’s right before work and I figure no more procrastination, let’s pull the photo out and see what we got.

Ahhh, that would be my dear friend Sarah holding up the ‘bootylicious panties’ she made for dear old me at my Lingerie Party last June, thrown by none other than my other good friend, Kimberly. Notice how those are granny panties, eh yeah thanks, Kim. That was such a fun night, full of dollar bill proposals (I’ll save that one for another day) and lots of drinking and dancing. It became my ‘bachelorette party’ in many ways since once Garrett was conceived that was out of the question. Oh, and for the record- see my wedding date on the panties, Miss Sarah (a BRIDESMAID mind you) forgot that date and had to ask. . . yeah, maybe one day I will let you live that one down. But, guess what? That day is NOT today. I do love you. I certainly had a blast that night, thanks to you girls. Such great memories I will always cherish.

Now, I must tag some folks of my own. Let’s see….I think AnneBecky and Leanne would have fun at this one! I can’t wait to see your photo. 🙂

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We use at least half less than the amount of detergent called for on its packaging. Give it a try, I promise you will be amazed when your clothing are still clean and smell fresh! I have to admit I have been doing this for years, but then found out I could use even less than what I was using then! In the long-run, this has ended up benefiting us two fold, by using less detergent, we spend less on purchasing it. An extra $8 everso often never hurt anyone, eh? Fabric softners are also a thing of the past. We have stopped using them. It wasn’t intentional, it just happened once Baby G came along. It’s also saved a few bucks here and there. Bryan doesn’t complain about the smell of his clothes so it must not make too big of a difference. I REALLY wish we could line dry our clothing, but we aren’t allowed to have a clothesline because of our ‘Homeowner’s Association’.  I have also started investing in using ‘green’ detergents. I started off purchasing A&H’s free and clear- which means it’s free of dyes and perfumes (things that clog up the green environment) and have now made the switch to Charlie’s Soap- a honest to goodness homemade soap that works wonders on Baby G’s cloth dipes. His diapers have been the main reason for searching for better detergents. I plan to give Mountain Green or Country Save a try soon, too. I am trying to figure out the most economically savvy green detergent now. So, I will be sure to let you know my findings.

I think what is MOST interesting about going green is how it coincides with SAVING money. Geee, you sure would think more folks would jump on that green bandwagon, eh?

Oh well, it can be our little secret for now.

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This is the scene at our house the minute I let Garrett down to crawl.

Remember that word, ‘crawl’– if you will.

Making his way up.

Viola.

Yes, my baby isn’t even 7 months old yet.

He still isn’t completely crawling!!!! Where did he learn this? I have a sneaking suspicion he learned it from Allison’s son Eli while we were in. Is that possible?

Please shoot me NOW!

(And, this was his 2nd round of “Let’s Climb Into the Fireplace”– as you can see, there is fingernail polish on the back of his right ankle. I was preoccupied the first go around and turned to find him standing, so I quickly grabbed him up *afraid* he might fall. So if you were wondering, that’s where the big looking gash comes from!) 

If only, this assured us that Baby G would be a future NFL, NBA or SOCCER star. (Perhaps, football since he does have his HOKIE colors on…) 

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Garrett and I slept in this morning since Daddy had to be at work early this morning. When we did wake up, around 10 my little man was all smiles. He was babbling away about something rather interesting. He has found so many sounds lately and I simply love hearing him vocalize, even if I haven’t a clue as to what he is trying to say.

Although, today I really think he was telling me that he has a tooth that needs to be brushed. OK, let me rewind a bit. For the last few days, whenever I brush my teeth I let Garrett watch and it absolutely fascinates him! He stares and smiles and then laughs.

This morning while in bed (we usually lay around for a good ten minutes), as we were chatting- Garrett gently pressed his gums against my thumb. As if to say, ‘Mommy, this is what I am trying to tell you about!’ When he pressed his gums against my thumb, sure enough I could feel a spikey little tooth breaking through his gums. Not in the original place I was sure he would land a tooth, but rather on the opposite side. The front right tooth is now emerging.

Up until this point, we had felt hard knots on his gums in various locations (predominantly on the left side and upper front)- but this is the first spikey object I have felt! 

Funny thing is, he hasn’t had any real symptoms. Maybe because he was sick last week and it masked all of it. Really though, he has been an angel. He did push on this tooth over and over with his tongue the last few days. I figured it meant a tooth was coming, but I shrugged it off because I figured nothing would emerge as usual.

I can’t wait until it pops out fully so I can take a picture of it and share with all of you!!! Ahhhhh, my baby has a tooth! 🙂

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That’s what it feels like around here these days. I have 3 giveaways to tell you guys about! You heard me right- 3 different giveaways!!! How awesome is that?! It seems everyone is in the giving spirit this week.

First off, if you visit Bri at Such is My Life, she is giving away an undisclosed gift to the person who leaves the 200th comment on her 200th post. I frequently read her blog, as she has plenty to say and plenty for me to learn from with five little ones running around.

Second, Preppy Little Dress is having a contest for a surprise ‘preppy’ gift. Her blog is about all things shopping. Who couldn’t catch up on some good deals and steals. 😉

Finally, this VERY POST is MY 100TH POST!!!! Can you believe, I finally have made it that far. It’s a milestone in its own right!! So, yep I have decided to giveaway something, too!

The below items will go to one lucky winner….well, minus the baby.

 

Rules: Simply add a comment below, post a link on your blog (if you have one) and have a U.S. mailing address.

A winner will be chosen RANDOMLY. Oh, and if you post a link on your blog and a friend signs up to receive my blog feed by email (see sidebar) and mentions your name in the comments and they win, I will sweeten the pot and send you 30 note cards, too.

Whatcha’ waiting on…start commenting!!!

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Opps, Ladies! I didn’t mean I am going to be gone from blogging, only that if I am not as frequent it is because I am trying to find balance between it all. It being LIFE.

I wanted to let everyone know that if I hadn’t posted a comment on their blog in awhile, this was why and because last night as I was trying to figure out something to write about, I came across 2 blogs about parents lossing their children. (Yeah, so that’s where some of my funk came from.) Does that make sense?

Anyway, most likely, I will only be a bit less frequent in posts. Heck, but then again maybe I will start posting more? Who knows at this point. With the amount of sugar I have consumed in the last few days, I am wondering if a *special visitor’ is about to make a reappearance in my life. So maybe that’s another occasion for this mood of mine.

Regardless, don’t write me off just yet!!

I DO NEED ADVICE:

I’m actually thinking of scheduling activities, tasks, etc. for my days. I feel very chaotic anymore! Does anyone do this or have any experience on whether it works or not?

My TO-DO LIST is impossibly LONG and untouched. I need some structure.

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